Yesterday I said I’d write about inauthentic selves, and I did! But the post isn’t quite ready yet, so today is a link roundup.

Here’s a very cool short essay about creepy images from movies.

ALL HAIL THE MONUMENTAL HORROR-IMAGE

“The things you see in images like these aren’t brandishing a chainsaw or baring a mouthful of fangs, but something about them feels completely terrifying anyway. It’s not just scary, it’s wrong, like you’re seeing something that should not be.”

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I appreciated this quote from cartoonist Edward Sorel.

“Right-wing forces are still ignoring facts and promoting divisiveness. Liberals are still gutless. Religion is still the greatest threat to peace and self-expression. … The only big difference is that I am now old. My sense of outrage at the stupidity and cruelty of those in power remains the same, but my desire to do anything about it has atrophied.”

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Long, but utterly fascinating essay by Jo Walton about dreams: Wages for Dreamwork.

“How plausible is such collective dreaming technology? Shared dreams that are vast games? Certainly events in the sleeper’s environment can influence dreams, and dreams can manifest in sleeptalking and otherwise, so there is at least a little bandwidth to play with. Last year dream researchers conducted two-way communication with lucid dreamers during polysomnographically verified REM sleep. They had them solving sums. Eight minus six. Two plus two.”

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Wil Wheaton’s lengthy introduction to analog horror, a genre of horror on YouTube I did not existed until this post.

in which i discover analog horror

“Last night, I spent the evening watching analog horror videos on YouTube. I love the familiar, nostalgic, VHS feeling. I love remembering, from the safety of 49, how I felt every single time I heard the Emergency Broadcast System when I was 9 and a Cold War Kid. I don’t know what the modern day equivalent of walking into a room lit only by the static from a TV with no signal that you are positive you turned off an hour ago is, but if you know in your guts what I just described, that’s how these videos make me feel. It’s fantastic.”

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Here’s a killer cover of Jefferson Starship’s “Jane.” Mostly trombones.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 061 of 100)

Despite the implied claims in the article mentioned in yesterday’s post, there is no universal agreement among research psychologists about the science of authenticity.

Theories of authenticity are rooted in the work of Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow. The positive psychology movement launched in the 1990s helped create the framework for authenticity research to take hold.

For my purposes it’s not essential that the theories of authentic self are ultimately proven to be accurate or inaccurate. I’m approaching this as I’d approach any self-actualization gambit. I’m going to behave for a period of time “as if” it’s true.

I don’t know enough about different styles of therapy to say where this concept of acting ‘as if’ is most used, but a quick Google search leads to this page at Positive Pschology News.

According to [Alfred] Adler, “When people have difficulty […] speaking assertively or responding with some measure of empathy, the clinician might encourage them to act “as if” they were assertive or empathic several times a day until the next session. As people begin to act differently and to feel differently, they become different.”

Seems to be roughly the same logic that underlies “fake it until you make it.”

Another key distinction to keep in mind is the difference between “trait” and “state”.

A trait is a long-term aspect of your personality. Openness to experience is an example of a personality trait. There may be moments when you are more (or less) open to new experiences, but if you are measured at random points throughout your life you’ll generally fall in about the same place on the open-to-new-experiences scale.

A state is a short-term experience, a temporary way of being.

I may be really open to new experiences while on vacation (I’m in an open-to-experience state), but mostly throughout my life I avoid new experiences (I typically default to a closed-to-new-experiences trait).

It’s easier to change your states than your traits, so for this exercise I’m only considering the state, not the trait. (Though quite a bit of the research focuses on the trait of the ‘real self’.)

Reading through this research today I was struck by how closely the descriptions of inauthenticity align with my experience of burnout. I’ll unpack that in tomorrow’s post.

If you’d like a more scholarly take on the concepts above, check out this special issue for current research (which includes a critique from Baumeister and a worthwhile article by William Ryan and Richard Ryan).

One of the most disheartening discoveries (for me) while searching through this literature is the frequent use of authenticity research in business management literature. When I read ‘how to become a more authentic manager’ I interpret that as ‘how to better manipulate the workers.’

Tomorrow: Inauthenticity.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 060 of 100)

Last week, as I wrote the post “Protopia Futures,” I wanted to look up the origin of the word pronoia. This led me to Rob Brezsny’s website, which led me to sign up for his newsletter.

Rob Brezsny is an astrologer and a poet. I used to read his column in the local alt-weekly in the 1990s. I always enjoyed his horoscopes for their joyful spark and enthusiastic embrace of the human experience, but once I moved away from that alt-weekly, I rarely went out of my way to read his work.

This week’s newsletter included the following:

“Jubilant Pronoia Therapy

“Experiments and exercises in becoming a sublimely kind, wildly intelligent, gracefully imaginative Master of lucid affection

“1. Write the following on a piece of red paper and keep it under your pillow.

“I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day, [put date here], that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others.”

“My most important desire…”. Since I seem to be on a search for some spiritual salve to soothe my midlife work blues, it crossed my mind to spend seven days reflecting/meditating on my most important desire.

Then I moved onto the next email, the next webpage, the next work project and forgot about it.

Today in my RSS feed is the following article: “What the new science of authenticity says about discovering your true self.”

Science of authenticity, eh? I didn’t know there was a science of authenticity!

Which led me to a research article titled “State Authenticity.”

“In what situations do people experience state (in)authenticity? Experiences of state authenticity—as judged by independent raters—co-occur with fun, success, returning to familiar people or places, spending time with close others (i.e., hanging out), helping others, and being creative. Conversely, experiences of state inauthenticity—also as judged by raters—co-occur with responding to a difficult situation, being evaluated, being socially incompetent, feeling isolated, conforming to or failing social expectancies, and feeling unwell.”

Hmmm. I like all those authentic states and dislike those inauthentic states. Perhaps I DO want to lead a more authentic life. What if my most important desire is to become more aligned with the authentic me?

As I started down the rabbit-hole of learning about state vs. trait authenticity it occurred to me to pause a moment and reflect on what I was reading. Perhaps even apply some of what I was reading to my own life. I decided to lean into Brezsny’s therapeutic contract instead of forgetting about it.

For seven days (including this post) I’m posting about authenticity, realness, and important desires.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 059 of 100)

The clock is ticking and I’ve got nothing to post, so I suppose I’ll opine on recent events.

Mostly I agree with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (and I’m deeply disappointed in Ayanna Pressley).

I keep wondering if Smith would have done the same thing if Amy Schumer or Wanda Sykes or Ricky Gervais had made the same joke. Something tells me he wouldn’t. The only person who can be assaulted in full view of 16 million people and nothing be done about it is a black man in America. (In fact, the assailant received a standing ovation minutes later. America!)

I’m also not buying the self-serving apology issued by Smith (or, more likely, his reps), or the image control BS from Pinkett-Smith.

As I write this I don’t think there’s been a statement from Rock. I gotta say I totally respect his professionalism in that moment and his willingness to put the show, his professional responsibility, in front of his own response.

Bad jokes are not a crime. Assault is a crime. If slapping people for bad taste was a thing, Smith never would have physically recovered from Wild, Wild West. Or Legend of Baggar Vance. Or Pursuit of Happyness. Or After Earth.

Now imagine this scene – Smith storms the stage, grabs the mic, says alopecia is no joking matter and he does not appreciate the joke, tells Rock he should be ashamed of exhibiting such poor taste, and then leaves the theater. Pinkett-Smith picks up the award, thanks folks, and gives a shout-out to Pressly for recently passing the CROWN act (alopecia affects black women disproportionatley because of the heat, chemicals, and tight styles that pull at the hair, styles they are often compelled to have because natural black hair is seen by many whites as ‘unprofessional’). The next day we’re all talking about hair justice and not trying to figure out why so many people are exulting about a another assault on another black man on national television.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 058 of 100)

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR ADULT ADHD

JENNIFER L. KNOX

1.               Stop the action.

                  1a. Does that include apologizing?

                        1b. Because I’m sorry about this poem. I’m so embarrassed.

                              Please forgive me.

3.               Tape pictures of policemen all around the house, especially on the refrigerator.

7.               Cheap tops.

49.             Cheap tops.

                  ii.   Cheap tops that no fit now, nor ne’er will, Captain!

4.               Airline miles, baby [rub hands together greedily]!

8.               See the future.

9.               To soothe yourself, recite Ghostbusters.

                        99. Again.

                            999. Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things                                            downtown.

12.             I’m sorry again.

                  1221.    [Mechanic lopes in wiping his oily hands on a rag] Welp, I’m pretty sure you had yourself a full-fledged nervous breakdown back there!

13.             Stop apologizing.

                  13a.   Right?!? Fuck you! [breaks beer bottle]

                            13af.  [Steven Seagal-style] Make meeeeeeeh.

14-19.        Dear reader…wanna make out?

27.             Have a sense of humor about your ADHD.

28.             Oh, I can hang! [Yell at policemen] HEY, PIGS! CREEP MY FRIDGE MUCH?!?!?!

                  [maniacal laughter, lightning]

38.             Yoo hoo! Mister DeMille! [Lights, sirens, plastic bracelets]

X.              I dance [Bugs Bunny imitating Danny Kaye in “Hot Cross Bunny” (1948)]…

                  xx.   …for you, dear reader!

                          ∞.   [Hand them the box, they shake it (hint: the bird’s dead)].

Y.              See you on the other side, Ray.

Z.               I’m trying to tell myself a different story these days.

                  zz.       “You’re fifty-one years late

                               zzz.       but I forgive you.”

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 057 of 100)

Not a lot going on today. Got some writing done, some relaxing done, but not a lot else. Not much for the blog, so here’s a picture of the local laundromat. The dryer broke last weekend and getting a replacement has been a bit of a “comedy” of errors. Ah well, certainly not the worst problem to have.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 056 of 100)

Met a fellow Alvin Lucier fan last night. He was, however, unfamilar with Harry Partch.

So, at lunch today I looked around for a Harry Partch interview, but got distracted listening to this wonderful performance of Castor & Pollux.

“Harry Partch (1901-1974) is the iconoclastic American Maverick composer who, between 1930 and 1972, created one of the most amazing bodies of sensually alluring and emotionally powerful music of the 20th century. Partch wrote music drama, dance theater, multi-media extravaganzas, vocal music, and chamber music—all to be performed on the extraordinary orchestra of instruments that he designed and built himself. The Great Depression forced Partch to spend many years as a transient. It was during these years that he collected the texts and experiences that would later form the basis for The Wayward, a collection of musical compositions based on the spoken and written words of hobos and other characters.”

And here’s Alvin Lucier (in 1965) using his brain waves to make music.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 055 of 100)

It’s Friday! Here’s some links for your amusement/edification/timekilling.

Cory points to this terrific policy proposal by EFF to make the internet a better place. Ban Online Behavioral Advertising

“Such targeting supercharges the efforts of fraudulent, exploitive, and misleading advertisers. It allows peddlers of shady products and services to reach exactly the people who, based on their online behavior, the peddlers believe are most likely to be vulnerable to their messaging. Too often, what’s good for an advertiser is actively harmful for their targets.”

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AI Weirdness has some AI-generated utopias.

Burnination Utopia – Everything is burning, but it is all very controlled and everyone wears asbestos tight pants.

Kitten Utopia – Everyone wants to have a kitten. Please let me have a kitten. This is the Kitten Utopia.

There is No Utopia – This place sucks. One robot makes the entire place go and even he’s on the fritz.

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Colossal has spectacular images of slime molds.

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The Sola Busca, the oldest complete seventy-eight card tarot deck in existence.

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And Monster Brains has lots of vintage magic posters.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 054 of 100)

This link has come up in two different venues in the last couple of days. It very much has manifesto feel, and I deeply love manifestoes, so here are a few clips to whet your appetite to go read it. I’ve only scanned it, but I’m signing up for her newsletter. (I don’t know if she really has a newsletter.)

PROTOPIA FUTURES [FRAMEWORK] by monika bielskyte

“Within the Protopia Framework, however, we position that there is no singular “future” trajectory but rather a vast scope of many alternative futures. It is continuously shaped not just by our actions but also by our inactions and our apathy. Hence, we consciously choose to use the plural “futures”, instead of singular “future”, throughout this text. Our work is always meant to engage the plurality of future possibilities — not a singular thread but rather the ever shifting perimeter of the probable, possible, plausible, and, most importantly, desirable.”

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“Instead of being productive frames of inquiry, are dystopias and utopias mere neo-religious content outlets for dualistic ideas of Heaven, Hell, and the fetish for the Apocalyptic Rapture?”

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“…the best that many Futurist “thought leaders” seem to propose for the 22nd century is the absurdity of endless economic growth based on “exponential technology”.”

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This essay says Kevin Kelly coined the term ‘protopia’ based on the term ‘pronoia’.

The first time I heard the term pronoia was in 2009 with the publication of Rob Brezsny’s book Pronoia, and the concept I first came across in the 1980s in a interview with Philip K. Dick, who used the term ‘metanoia’.

PKD recounts a conversation with Robert Anton Wilson about their use of paranoia in their novels. The opposite, they decide, is metanoia — the irrational belief that the universe is out to help you.

I suspect this is a coinage by RAW given his deep interest in James Joyce. Just as Joyce repurposed the term epiphany, Wilson was probably inspired to repurpose metanoia, which means “change in one’s way of life resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion.”

And, (thanks, Google!) I just looked up where Breszny got the term and he writes —

“The actual term “pronoia” was coined in 1976 by Grateful Dead lyricist John Perry Barlow, who defined it as “the suspicion that the universe is a conspiracy on your behalf.'”

Fortunately Bielskyte intentionally breaks away from the Kelly mindset of techno-utopia. (Whoops! Kelly doesn’t cotton to being called a techno-utopian. Here’s his post on protopia.) She sees protopia futurism as a kind of post-colonial solarpunk process.

“Protopia is a continuous dialogue, more a verb than a noun, a process rather than a destination, never finite, always iterative, meant to be questioned, adjusted, and expanded. Our goal is always to center the previously marginalized perspectives, especially those at the intersection of Indigeneity, Queerness, and Disability. Above all, Protopia explores visions of embodied HOPE, futures wherein we have come together, as imperfect as our condition is.”

I haven’t had time to digest it all yet, but I’m looking forward to giving it space to infiltrate my brain.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 053 of 100)

I’ve had a kind of simmering interest in tarot since I was a teen. I never learned enough to read cards without a book at hand, but I’ve almost always had those sorts of books in my personal library.

I picked up a deck of Blue Bird Lenormand divination cards while visiting Cassadaga last summer, and it started me thinking about cartomancy as a whole. If you know the Lenormand deck well, you can use a traditional 52 card deck for your read.

And, because I got the Lenormand deck, JB got me the Hoodoo Tarot deck and book last December as a random gift. I love the changes Tayannah Lee McQuillar made to the traditional tarot deck, and the way she distinguishes hoodoo from voodoo. In the Hoodoo deck there are no court cards (for example) because she’s building a deck to reflect the practice of rootworkers in the American south.

This started me wondering how I’d put together a deck if I was working from scratch. I like McQuillar’s idea of drawing on regional folklore, so I’d incorporate some Florida weirdness, but more than avoiding the court cards I’d also want to avoid the whole Kabala and ‘Egyptian’ metaphysical underpinning, and strip my deck of that 18th and 19th century occultism. There’s a lot of othering and orientalism baggage to unpack from the popular metaphysics of that era. I’d focus more on celestial experiences (oh! I’d need an eclipse card) and universal personality categories. And then laminate a bunch of weirdness on top of that.

I’d probably have a suit of moon cards. Probably 28 for each day of the moon cycle. I’d have solstice and equinox cards, as well as cross-quarter cards. I’d also want cards that reflected elements of personality, as well as virtue/vice cards.

Anyway, someday I might take a minute to craft my own deck, but before I do that I’d probably want to read more on cartomancy.

I’m currently reading A Wicked Pack of Cards (it’s kind of expensive so I picked up a copy through my library’s interlibrary loan), which looks at the development of tarot through a more scholarly/historical lens.

“Tarot cards were invented in Italy in the early fifteenth century, and for almost four centuries used exclusively for playing games. In late eighteenth-century France, however, they were purloined from the card-players for fortune-telling and the occult. For a hundred years, the use of Tarot cards for divination, and their interpretation as enshrining an occult meaning, remained all but exclusively confined to France. Professional French fortune-tellers, French exponents and practitioners of magic, and the occasional French charlatan, developed uses for Tarot cards and baseless theories about them which were virtually unknown in other countries. The authors trace this phenomenon through the writings and activities of many advocates of Tarot occultism, including Court de Gebelin, Etteilla, Levi, and Papus, showing how an extraordinary variety of occult theories – from Hermetism to Rosicrucianism, from the Cabala to Freemasonry – was brought to bear on a pack of playing cards.

“In the twentieth century Tarot divination has spread throughout the Western world; the very word ‘Tarot’ is now identified with the occult, fortune-telling, and cartomancy. This book tells the fascinating story of how Tarot divination was born and grew to maturity in a single country.”

As far as the divination accuracy of tarot goes, I feel the same way about tarot and astrology as I do about self-help books or self-improvement podcasts. Their value is in creating a space for critical introspection. For me, it matters less what my card says or what my daily horoscope says, than the fact I’m changing the frame of my outlook. I’m not particularly concerned if the self-improvement book I’m reading is riddled with anecdata and lousy scholarship. What matters is having a different lens through which to look at life. And from that I have the possibility, the opportunity, to reflect critically on this new perspective.

I doubt I’ll start creating that deck anytime soon, but who knows? Something might light a fire under that interest and turn the simmering up to boiling.

(100 Days of Blogging: Post 052 of 100)